Never thought that, the waiting, silently turned into h&h situation and it's slowly creeping inside of me thus making me weaker day by day...
I've never been good at deciding all this while... really needed that shift, but at the mean time also realized that I need lots of courage to back that up. At times I hope that things will be as easy as typing on all this keys. I'm struggling each day, telling myself "just hit the shift button!" If is not okay there then just come back, what is there to lose anyway... is easy but yet so damn HARD!!!! What's that stopping me from making the tiny step forward? I can't deny and look away... I know, really do know... The comfort that I possessed; my house, room, bed, pillow, blanket, books, most importantly my family. I will miss them, I will. Definitely will still be back but it won't feel the same, because home is where the heart is. Though there are times when I do hope that far away I am from them... Really admire those who can just pack and leave, like Elizabeth Gilbert of Pray, Eat, Love on the search of reclaiming her life across Italy, India, and Bali. Still searching for the book, but just a review of her interview on Oprah show , I've include that book on my to read list.
If it is true that the message send to me ... "I'm a water boar that swims." then I do hope that I'll be able to swim or float through this part of my life and rested on a promising shore.
Finger cross. Pray hard i will.
